The park
by CSIfreak4ever
Summary: Complete. i just changed the title because it sucked. I can't do summaries so just read and enjoy! GSR...isnt it tempting?
1. Chapter 1

She had always loved the park. As a child she had spent a lot of her time there. Not really because she wanted to or because her mother took her there but because it was the only place she could get away from home.

Most of her childhood was spent reading, studying, and hiding from the bad man, her father. When she couldn't get to the park she would sit on the floor in the corner of her room she sat in the corner of her room reading and trying to tune- out the yelling and screaming from the floor beneath her. It would usually work but then the yelling would get closer and soon it was directed at her.

All the fights and yelling had mostly been between her mother and her father. Her father was always drunk and her mother would get on his case about it and he would just slap her across the face to get her to shut- up. But then it took a lot more because she would be more persistent. She cried for him to stop and think about their children. That's when little Sara Sidle was brought into the picture. Her father would storm in her room and beat her around a little asking her mother if she was happy now. Her mother would just look sadly at her daughter incapable of taking action against her husband. She would never go to the police or tell anyone because she knew she would be killed along with her daughter. He threatened them many times saying he would kill them if they breathed a word. Sara knew he wasn't joking because although she was a child she could just see the hate and hollowness in his dark eyes.

Her mother finally took charge one night when little Sara was getting beat for reading while eating. All while she was watching her mother took a butcher knife and stabbed her husband 14 times in the chest. Sara could only remember sitting in the corner until the police came and took her mother away leaving her with a social worker who held her hand telling her she safe.

Looking back it wasn't bad all the time. When her father was on a "business trip" but who really knew where he went her mother would take her out to lunch and she faintly remembered a mall. But she didn't want to remember. It was in the past and that's where she wanted it to stay. Besides she had long since then moved on. After going to Harvard and getting away from the foster care, she got a job in the Coroner's office in San Francisco. She met with some criminalists there and changed her career. After working one year at the San Francisco Crime Lab she was told to go to an entomology lecture to learn about bugs and how they could help her at future crime scenes.

She was undoubtedly the star pupil there and she felt an attraction to the lecturer, a Gil Grissom. She wasn't sure if she liked him as a role model or something more but all she knew was she could get lost in his blue eyes. After the seminar he had asked her out for coffee because she was the only one paying any attention and they talked about her career in San Francisco as a CSI. One and a half years later she gets a call from a man that she thought she would never hear from again. He asked her to be a CSI with him in Las Vegas and she accepted without hesitation.

That was some time ago though. She had given up hope on having a relationship with him a long time ago. Now she was single, sleepless, and walking around the park at four in the morning. She often came to the park to forget about a bad case or clear her head, like she had done as a child. She went back home after realising it was cold and she needed sleep.

Sara was surprised at how many hours she had slept. She woke only from the afternoon sunrays pouring through her curtains onto her face. This was the first time she hadn't woken up from a bad dream in a while. She got ready for work and got in her car when she realised the time. She knew she was early but not 5:00PM early. She didn't really want to go back upstairs to loneliness so she went to the park, where she could be near people, be alone, but not really feel as alone as she was in her apartment.

Now the park had a few more people there because it was late afternoon not 4am. She sat on a bench just watching the other families play with their children.

"Hi!" A cute little girl said happily sitting beside her.

"Hello there," Sara replied not knowing what else to say.

"My name is Emily. What's your name?"

"My name? Umm, Sara,"

"Oh really! My dolly's name is Sara! That's cool." She cried happily.

Sara was never really fond of children. She didn't quite know how to act with them. She thought they reminded her too much of her childhood and she thought if she talked to them she would be like her mother and that was something she feared the most, becoming her mother. She would never let that happen. Sara soon threw her thoughts of the past away and focused on the little girl becoming a little concerned.

"Are you here with someone? It's getting late,"

"Yup, my mommy and daddy are over on the grass. They kissed, eww!" She said acting grossed out. She was the cutest kid ever, Sara thought.

"How come you're here?" Emily asked.

"Well, I come here to get rid of all the bad thoughts. It helps me a lot. Do you like the park?"

"Yes, a lot! I have a lot of friends." Before Sara had time to say anything Emily's mother came walking up looking a little worried.

"Emily honey, you can't go running off like that talking to strangers. I'm so sorry miss."

"Oh no, it's fine. We were just talking about the park." Sara smiled sweetly so the mother wouldn't think she was a bad guy, heaven knows there are enough to go around.

"Bye Sara," the girl called out. Sara waved back. She was glad she'd met Emily. Some how the innocent child had made her feel a lot better.

Sara walked into the break room seeing everyone there, coffees in hands.

"Hello everyone," Sara said.

"Hey," from Catherine and Warrick.

"How come you're so happy tonight? Not that I mind." Nick asked.

"I went to the park!" She sounded like a child.

They all smiled liking that she was happy except for Grissom who frowned knowing the truth as to why she went to the park. He knew he couldn't leave it alone so he planned to talk to her about it later on.

"Okay," Grissom decided to get started.

"Catherine, Warrick, you guys have a double homicide at the Tangiers. Nicky, you are going solo to an apparent suicide at the Flamingo and Sara, you are with me tonight at the Four Aces Motel. Homicide, let's get to work then guys." With that he told Sara he would wait in the SUV and he left.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N. Hey guys, I hope you liked Chapter 1 and now, I hope you like chapter 2. Please R&R.

The car ride to the crime scene was fairly short but it felt like eternity for Grissom. Sara was not making any conversation and every time he opened his mouth to say something he couldn't say anything. Why was it that when he was with her he couldn't help but feel nervous? They've been working together for 5 years and he still couldn't help but feel like he had to impress her even if she is his subordinate. He knew why but every time he tried to think about it he would just deny it. Deny all his real feelings towards her and never do anything about them.

At the scene they both walked in to find Detective Jim Brass, a not so tall balding man with serious but innocent features standing over the victim looking a little sad.

"Jane Rider, 23, lived alone here for 3 years. She is a medical doctor at St. Anthony's Hospital. Neighbours heard screaming at 11:30 last night. They called the cops after someone ran out. Another man tried to chase him but he was gone. Before you ask no one saw his face."

"Except for her," Sara sighed noting the horrified look on their victim's face.

"Poor girl," Grissom said looking for a cause of death. Sara nodded looking around

"Hi, sorry I'm late. Let's have a look. Well, I don't see any exterior wounds so I might say asphyxiation but I'll have to take her to the morgue to be positive." Dr. Robbins said. He could do his job so well Sara thought. He didn't show any emotion. She, on the other hand, needed a little bit of work. She knew Grissom wanted to talk to her because she said she went to the park. _Damn,_ she thought. _I need to stop blabbing my mouth to everyone. _After everyone but the two CSIs left Grissom took the opportunity to talk to her.

"You went to the park?" he said slowly. Not feeling up to pretending she didn't know what he was talking about she replied, "Yeah, I did."

"Do you want to tell me why?"

"Not really."

"Are you alright?"

"Yes."

"Sara I'm worried about you." He couldn't stand her short answers.

"Grissom, I'm fine. I promise." She added giving him an assuring, sweet smile that made him believe her. Grissom didn't continue. He didn't want to make her upset. Sara knew he was trying to help because he knew about the park. She just didn't want him to be worried about her or watch her every step. She just wanted to be angry and upset alone and not spread it around. They finished processing the scene in silence.

After a hard interrogation with the boyfriend of Jane Rider, Sara was told to go get some rest before looking at knew evidence by none other than Gil Grissom. She said she was fine but of course, he made her go. And he decided to get some shut- eye as well so he went home right after she was gone.

Sara tossed and turned for about an hour and a half after she got home. As soon she had gone home she went straight to her room, changed, and tried to sleep. All she could think of was that son of a bitch boyfriend who wouldn't tell them anything. She could just feel him assault her. As if she was Jane and she was feeling everything that Jane felt. She obviously couldn't sleep like that so she got dressed and left her apartment.

Gil Grissom lay in his bed wide-awake staring at the time, 3:20pm. He couldn't sleep knowing how much the case was affecting Sara. He lay still wondering what he would do if it was Sara lying dead on the floor instead if Jane. Would he show no emotion? Would he care? _Stop it Grissom! She isn't dead. Don't think like that! _ He was beating himself up for thinking like that. Maybe he should call her and see if she's ok. Or maybe he should just go over and talk to her about the case and how she is. What if she hung up on him? What if she didn't open the door? Now he was angry with himself. He always doubted the things he did. He wished he could stick to something and do it. After thinking hard about what to do he decided to call her and hope for the best. He grabbed his phone from the night table and dialled her number, which he had memorised a long time ago. The phone rang but there was no answer. That was strange. He told her to go get rested but then he realised that it was Sara they were talking about, not someone who listened. Where could she have gone? He got dressed and got in the Tahoe faster than the speed of light. He didn't know why but he was going to talk to her today while he still had his previous thoughts about her fresh in his head.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N sorry for the short chapter I have no ideas left! Thank you for the one review that I got. Loll, Okay, I guess I have to make up better stories huh, hehe

Sara strolled along the park with no real destination. There were quite a few kids there with other friends and families. They were probably coming here from school, Sara thought seeing backpacks with the children. Sara stopped walking and watched the children playing when she felt a tug on her jacket.

"Hi Sara!" A little girl cried happily.

"Hi Emily." Sara said. She was so cute.

"What are you doing here Sara, clearing your head, again?" she asked confused. Sara laughed at that

"Yeah, I guess so,"

"Do you have a lot of bad thoughts?"

"Yes, sometimes I do," she continued telling her when she was just a child.

"Why? You can tell me. We're friends right Sara?" The little girl asked with the biggest blue eyes. Sara smiled at Emily's interest in her and found she made her in a much better mood.

"Yeah, we are. Sometimes the things that happen at work are a little sad."

"What kind of work do you do?" Sara wondered why Emily found her so interesting. She decided to tell her what she did without going into detail; she didn't need to hear everything at this age.

"Oh, that must make you sad," she said now understanding why Sara was sad. Emily was a sincere kid. Her parents really did raise their child well and Sara took note of this glad she wasn't like her. She would

never wish her childhood on anyone.

"Emily honey, c'mon. We have to go get daddy from the airport."

"Oh but mom, we just got here!"

"I know baby, but we can come back later."

"Can I stay here with Sara, please?" She cried.

"Oh honey, I don't think she wants to. She…"

"Well you know, I don't mind at all. Its up to you."

"Well alright, but you have to listen to everything Sara says. Thank you so much. I shouldn't be too long."

"No problem, we will have fun!" With that, Emily's mother got in her car and drove off.

"Do you want to play tag? It might make you feel better." No one could turn this little optimistic girl down so Sara accepted.

"Sure, I'd love to."

For the next ten minutes Sara and Emily ran through the park chasing each other around and laughing. Little did they know they had a visitor watching them. It wasn't Emily's mother, for she had asked Sara to look after her while she picked up her husband from the airport. It was a tall ageing man who really liked bugs, his job, and the woman he was watching. Yes it was the famous entomologist Gil Grissom. He sat on a bench near the trees making it hard for the girls to see him. He purposely hid and watched how beautiful she was with the child. She was so gentile and although she says differently, she knew how to act around the children. He couldn't help but watch her. She wasn't at her home so he thought she would come here. This is where she told him she came to clear her head.

Just as he was watching her and thinking about her, a woman came running up the hill pulling Emily into a warm embrace saying she loved her. Sara watched and he knew what she was thinking from the fake smile on her face. Grissom knew she never had a family who loved her and helped her grow up. No, she had to do that all by herself. He felt awful for her but she ended up being a very talented and beautiful scientist that he would not give up for anything.

He heard the mother thank Sara and the little girl jump up and give her a big hug. The family ran off to their car and Sara turned and started to walk. She went to the bench and sat down. As she was walking he saw the grin on her face turn into a frown and then he saw her shed a few tears. He frowned seeing this wonderful, bright woman so sad and empty. He started to walk over to her aiming to sit on the bench behind her facing the opposite direction. As he got closer she didn't even bother to turn around. He sat down behind her, leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Hi!"

"Oh my god Grissom. You scared the crap out of me. What are you doing here" She turned around to face him missing his warm breath on her face.

"Well, you weren't at home so I thought you'd be here. And wouldn't you know, here you are. I wanted to see you."

"Thanks, but you don't have to baby me. I'm fine, really. You don't have to stay."

"Yeah, I know, but I want to." He said simply.

"Okay, why?"

"Because I want to be near you." She slowly stood up and began to walk away. He started after her and grabbed her arm to get her to face him. He didn't wait for her to speak.

"Look, I know how much you hate me right now for all that I've done and well, I don't blame you for that. But please let me make it up to you. Let me be with you when you're angry. I don't know what else to say. Sara, I…"

"Shh…" she put her fingers to his lips. "I know you want to help. It's just hard for me to let you in. I waited a long time Griss, and it just might take a while. I don't hate you though; I could never hate you. I love you too much to hate you." She said the last part a little quieter but he could still hear.

"Sara honey, I'm sorry it took me so long. I didn't know how to get near you. You are so strong and intimidating and I just don't know what to you around you." He took her hands in his and stared into her deep hazel eyes. He saw a tear fall down one cheek and he knew right then that she had forgiven him and that they both had changed, "Griss I…" he never let her finish because he wrapped his arms so protectively around her and slowly rocked her from side to side. She responded and wrapped her arms around him and they stood in the dark in the empty park wanting to stay together forever.


End file.
